Nixie Knox: Your Friendly Neighborhood Librarian

Anyone else remember these?

The Z recently discovered these:

and they are just an amazing collection of stories. I read Jenny and the cat club when I was The Z's age and just adored it. I bought the book to read to The Z and then forgot about it. She discovered it last week on her bookshelf and read it lickety-split then asked, "Are there more stories about Jenny?" Luckily, our fabulous branch of the Ann Arbor Public Library had two other Jenny books that The Z promptly sat down and read.

Any other oldies, but goodies out there you would like to wax nostalgic about?

From the backseat

"When I grow up, I am going to get married and have four kids and their names will be Clementine, Rosie, Bob and Charlie," The Z announced from the backseat.

Big D, who has been in a scatalogical humor phase for the past five years added, "Well my girls are going to be named Poo and Pee and my boys will be Fred, Joe and Sam."

The Z, justifiably outraged, told him for the 100th time, "That is not fair! The girls have gross names!"

A friend, Lili, traveling with us said, "I need zero boys. I don't need to get married, I just want a baby."

Big D screamed, "I know who I am going to marry! FIONA! And my last name will be Toilet!"

The Z said, "You don't change your name, dummy!" and then tearfully, "I don't know WHAT my last name is going to be!!"

I assured her that she was a little young to decide who she is going to marry and that it was okay not to know what her last name will be and that, in fact, she could keep the last name she has now.

Lili chimed in again with her repeated cry of feminism, "I don't need a boy, I just want a baby!"

To which The Z replied, "Lili! Boys need to do something for you to have a baby! So you can get married, have a baby and just BREAK UP with the guy!"

And Big D said, "What do boys need to do to have a baby?"

Meanwhile, I am in the front seat alternately laughing and cringing and praying, "Don't ask what boys need to do to have a baby, please don't ask what boys need to do to have a baby!"

Just your average trip across town.

Waiting for Harry

You know how I feel about spoilers. They suck. And people who spread them are mean-spirited know-it-alls that deserve a kick in the pants. So I have been in a media free-zone for the last two weeks - very little blog reading, avoidance of headlines in the paper that look like they might reveal something, plugging my ears when others spout their theories on HPVII. You know, your basic anti-social behavior. Just waiting until Friday at midnight when I have my two beautiful books in my hand (Mr. K reads Harry Potter also, so two books is a must) and I can read for myself what happens.

In the interim, I took this quiz.

Harry Potter test

Your Score: 90%
Albus Dumbledore

People look up to you... most of the time

You got 9 out of 10 answers correct

And who are you? Take the quiz here.

Farewell, Pickles

So a couple of weeks ago I took the kids to the Farmers Market in Kerrytown. We had selected some baby lettuces to eat with dinner and were just about to head inside to the butcher shop when Big D spied a tiny box of cucumbers.

"Mom! Can we get the cucumbers? Can we, please? Huh, huh, can we?" Big D asked putting on his cute face which involves a head tilt and pouting.

"Okay, sure, cucumbers it is," and I buy them because, you know, they are vegetables and probably good for you although I think they are mostly made up of water.

Later, at home, I get the cucumbers out and grab a knife and a cutting board so I can slice 'em up and serve them with dip when a horrified scream issues from behind me.

"What are you doing?" Big D asks.

"I am going to cut the cucumbers. For a snack. With dip," I reply.

"I don't want to eat them!" he yells. "They are my pets!"

Pets. Cucumbers for pets. Although I am worried, I am not surprised. In the past he has had other strange pets. For example, a piece of pizza crust we had to cart around with us for week named Little Timmy.

"A cucumber for a pet? Really?" I asked.

"Yes!" he said.

"You may choose one for a pet. The rest I am eating," I said.

After much boo-hooing Big D selected a cucumber, named him Pickles and went off to play.

Fast forward two weeks.

Big D comes out of his room with The Z following. They have been playing in Big D's room for about an hour.

"Mom! Guess what? There is something gross in my room," Big D says.

"What? A bug?" I ask.

"I don't know," he answers.

So I ask The Z, "What is it that is gross in Big D's room?"

And she says, "Looks like a dead animal to me. It is in the Hess truck."

Immediately, I knew what it was. I wondered where that damn cucumber went!

The funny part is, they had played with that damn truck for an hour before they got bored and decided to tell me something rotten and smelly was inside it.

Summer lovin'

Top Ten Reasons Summer is AWE-SOME

10. Sleeping in - I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but I look forward to summer days with no alarm clock and sleeping until the kids wake up.

9. Reading adult books (hey, mind out of the gutter people - not that kind of adult book!)

8. BBQing - grilled corn and spicy brats? 'Nuff said.

7. Swimming at the pool with my peeps.

6. Visiting with friends and family I don't normally get to see.

5. Completing projects and ideas I don't usually have time for during the school year.

4. Top of the park - the free festival in Ann Arbor where you can drink beer, eat good food, listen to some groovy tunes and then see a movie outside.

3. Long Island Iced Teas at Good Time Charley's. Hands down the BEST.

2. Ann Arbor Art Fairs - lots of art, lots of people and elephant ears.

1. And the number one reason why summer is AWE-SOME - I get to stay home with my peeps every day. And it is third week of vacation and I still feel that way. We are having way too much fun hanging out together!

Just nod if you can hear me

Yeah, I pretty much fell off the face of the earth. These things happen sometimes. Things have just been really busy and also, really boring. Who wants to read about escaping dogs, mouse turds and roller derby? Probably no one.

The moron twins (what we have dubbed Jake and his counterpart in crime, Bruno) continually manage to shrink to the size of mice, we imagine, and make it out of our yard which has a 6 foot fence. The gate remains locked and the planks in the fence appear untouched. It is a mystery fit for Agatha Christie. Two weeks ago they were found lounging by a neighbor's pool soaking up the sun and last week they were traipsing through someone else's yard chasing squirrels. This is after they ate half a couch in our basement and peed all over the kids' tent. I am beginning to wonder why I keep them.

And what the hell good are the damned dogs if I still have a mouse in the kitchen that feels compelled to shit on my canned goods every night? Evidently when we redid the kitchen in November, this particular rodent took exception to our new floorplan and has sought his revenge in my pantry. The dogs catch birds and bring them to me, why can't they do the same with the mouse? Mr. K flatly refuses to kill it and the kids are in an uproar over their mother's bloodthirsty desire to have the mouse's head on a stick.

Did I mention I tried out for roller derby? And in spite of the fact that I stunk up the joint, I managed to pass the basic skills skating test. What does that mean? A couple of things - they really need skaters and I have a lot of practicing to do before I ever see a bout. Right now I am relegated to skating in a very small circle on the practice rink while the pros skate on the big rink. So far, I am reeeeeeeeeeeeally good at falling.

What is up in your neck of the woods?

I blame it on the weather

Oh woe is me! Curse you mother nature! I have been off work for a week with spring break and because I choose to live in this accursed state, instead of enjoying warm springish weather, I have had to battle rain, sleet, snow and blustery evil winds. What.in.the.hell? Isn't it about time for it to ACTUALLY be spring? I am sick of this winter weather crap.

I don't have lovely weather to distract me from my work so I had to find something else. I picked Daniel Craig. Fine choice, wouldn't you agree? Of course, after seeing Casino Royale and promoting Daniel to "My Secret Boyfriend" status usurping the title from old "My Secret Boyfriend" Justin Timberlake, I realized that in the real world I do not have what it takes to be a girlfriend to someone like Daniel Craig. That was quite crushing. Maybe, if the lighting was right and he was say, a grocery store manager instead of an international star, then maybe I might get a first date. Even then, I would be out of my league.

"Kiki Strike," peanut butter patties and "29 Cookies"

I finally picked up a copy of *Kiki Strike by Kirsten Miller this week. I absolutely love it - what's not to love? It has bad ass Girl Scouts, mystery, danger, humor and helpful tips like "how to care for an injured colleague." Reading the book I found myself devouring, quite subconsciously I might add, a box of DElightful Peanut Butter Patties. One of 17 frickin' boxes that we bought in order to help The Z reach the nearly impossible goal of 50 (what can I say man, I don't do door-to-door, if you come to my house and accidentally see the order form I will sell you a box) so she could have a badge for her vest that will probably never get ironed on because, well, I suck at that sort of thing. And then, today, I was reading to the kids today from The Tomato Collection by Kevin Kammeraad in anticipation of his visit to my school next week when I came across the bestest poem ever entitled "29 Cookies" and it reminded me of my Girl Scout cookie binge:

29 Cookies by Kevin Kammeraad

ate far too much
my stomach's far too full
I'm feeling kinda funny
not feeling very well
I knew I should have stopped
but they all just taste so great
it's the 28th cookie I just should not have ate

You should check out his site - there are even songs for all the poems and they are perfection.

*As an aside I have decided to link all the books I mention in my posts to my lovely local bookseller for several reasons:

1. It is a charming establishment that goes above and beyond the call of duty. I order books on-line from them and they have them waiting for me in the store lickety-split.
2. It has a fireplace!
3. When I go there, I feel like Norm from Cheers - people know me and say things like, "Why, Nixie Knox, what are you looking for today?"
4. It has a fairy door. And you know how I feel about fairy doors and Mrs. W and Mr. W. Awesome.

Bad psycho mommy. No treat for you.

Report cards come home on Monday.

That really is not that long.

Still, I can't seem to wait to hear where the teacher thinks The Z is in reading.

And, if she agrees with me.

Which, of course, she better or all hell is going to break loose and my head will explode.

So, I started slightly grilling The Z because, well, I used to be a classroom teacher and I know that her teacher has probably spent some time recently evaluating her reading. And I want to know what they read.
And then I can put my latent desire to be Sammy Keyes to the test and uncover the book and therefore the level. Before the report card comes home. ON MONDAY!

Problem. The Z KNOWS she is being slightly grilled and resists vehemently. Damn!

But, I am sneaky and am able to discover the book is about snakes and is called, funny enough, Snakes! (with an exclamation point). So I check through every reading assessment program I know of and can't find the book. Then I look at the websites of several companies that make leveled reading series. And bingo, I think I find it and confirm with a visual id of the cover from The Z.

So I have the non-fiction level in my pocket and I must say at this point I am feeling better about the whole report card thing.

But, HELLO? What in the HELL is my problem?

I am now what was once my worst nightmare as a classroom teacher.

How to go crazy

- Take your normally well-organized and tidy library and add a generous helping of camp. You know, fake Christmas trees, tents, cabins, TWO faux fires, real logs, fake grass, real greenery, a deer-head named Ramone, and a very large, very dark, very creepy cave.

- Mix in four family evening events including storytellers, make-a-book night, teacher reading night and poetry slam.

- Throw in a book fair and an author visit to taste.

- Simmer at a low boil for 31 days and VOILA! Crazy!